Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bristol Palin

Never lie to your mother. That's like the biggest lesson that I learned, learned throughout my life, you know?

Doug Stanhope

My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to tell me to do comedy before I even tried it. She was always up for any gag.

Doug Stanhope

"Close your mouth when you chew." That was my mother's big one.Why do people eat lunch together? I want to eat by myself. Chewing is one of the most revolting things to me. Wind makes me unnerved, too.

Doug Stanhope

You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.

Douglas Adams

You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen.

Douglas Adams

Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother.

Dwight L. Moody

Sometimes when your child talks, your friends cannot understand what he says; but the mother understands very well. So if our prayer comes from the heart, God understands our language.

Dudley Nichols

You can make children believe whatever you want, and the children of today are the soldiers and mothers of tomorrow.

Duke Ellington

My mother told me I was blessed, and I have always taken her word for it. Being born of - or reincarnated from - royalty is nothing Like being blessed. Royalty is inherited from another human being; blessedness comes from God.

Christian Siriano

A bad investment is going for quantity over quality. If you're trying to be careful with your wallet, especially with the economy right now, you have to choose staple pieces.

Henry Rollins

The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to pull you down.

Henry Rollins

I try to be well informed. I don't know how well I do all the time, but I try nonetheless.

Henry A. Kissinger

In a diplomatic negotiation, you always meet the same the other side all the time. Even if you should succeed in outsmarting him or in pressuring him, it only sets up a cycle in which he will try to get even.

Helen Gurley Brown

Trying to describe a good marriage is like trying to describe your adrenal glands. You know they're in there functioning but you don't really understand how they work.

Helen Gurley Brown

We are told to value ourselves without feedback, but if nobody is making a pass at you or trying to take you to Bermuda, how are you supposed to feel? Confident?

Henry Cavill

If someone's trying to intimidate me, male or female, I don't respect them enough to be intimidated.

Helmut Newton

...what I try to do is a good bad picture. I work it out very carefully, and then I do something that looks as if it went wrong.

Heber J. Grant

If we are striving, if we are working, if we are trying, to the best of our ability, to improve day by day, then we are in the line of our duty.

The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold nuggets too, but there weren't many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and the doctor's bills were real high.

P. J. O'Rourke

When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job and/or insurance and can pay the hospital. and another bill, which is tacked onto your bill, to cover the medical expenses of someone who doesn't have a job and/or insurance and can't pay the hospital.