Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bristol Palin

Never lie to your mother. That's like the biggest lesson that I learned, learned throughout my life, you know?

Doug Stanhope

My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to tell me to do comedy before I even tried it. She was always up for any gag.

Doug Stanhope

"Close your mouth when you chew." That was my mother's big one.Why do people eat lunch together? I want to eat by myself. Chewing is one of the most revolting things to me. Wind makes me unnerved, too.

Doug Stanhope

You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.

Douglas Adams

You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen.

Douglas Adams

Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother.

Dwight L. Moody

Sometimes when your child talks, your friends cannot understand what he says; but the mother understands very well. So if our prayer comes from the heart, God understands our language.

Dudley Nichols

You can make children believe whatever you want, and the children of today are the soldiers and mothers of tomorrow.

Duke Ellington

My mother told me I was blessed, and I have always taken her word for it. Being born of - or reincarnated from - royalty is nothing Like being blessed. Royalty is inherited from another human being; blessedness comes from God.

Aldous Huxley

You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion. . . . Dogs do not ritually urinate in the hope of persuading heaven to do the same and send down rain. Asses do not bray a liturgy to cloudless skies. Nor do cats attempt, by abstinence from cat's meat, to wheedle the feline spirits into benevolence. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.

Doug Larson

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

Doug Larson

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

Donatella Versace

The first thing I do each morning is get out of bed and give my dog, Audrey, a hug. She's a Jack Russell. I think having an animal is a wonderful thing, particularly dogs. They are great levelers, there's no nonsense with them, and they just want simple affection.

Don Herold

[Reviewing a production of Uncle Tom's Cabin] The dogs were poorly supported by the cast.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

As men and women of character and of faith in the soundness of democratic methods, we must work like dogs to justify that faith.

Douglas Booth

I like to wake up late, around 11 A.M., especially if I have been out the night before. Then I go to brunch with either my friends or my girlfriend. I then like to just chill out: read the papers, read some scripts and then take it very easy. If it's sunny, I go for a walk with my dog, Niles, in the countryside.

Duke Ellington

I began by tinkering around with some old tunes I knew. Then, just to try something different, I set to putting some music to the rhythm that I used in jerking ice-cream sodas at the Poodle Dog. I fooled around with the tune more and more until at last, lo and behold, I had completed my first piece of finished music.

Douglas Wilson

Your deep interests should always have a dog-eared place on your nightstand.