Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.

Dave Attell

I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!

Robert Harris

To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.

Rick Riordan

Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints.

Tom Cullen

When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on Valentine's Day, I painted a canvas of her, bought her a massage, put flowers on the stairs, and ran a bath.

Michael Rapaport

In any relationship that comes to an end, there's never just a baseline reason why. You say, 'Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.' Someone says, 'Why?' You say, 'Well, you got three hours? And then maybe after I tell you my version, you've got to talk to her.

Jens Lehmann

I do not have a 24-year-old girlfriend. I have another life altogether.

Jeff Perry

I get cast gay a fair amount throughout my life. It's not the first time. Matt [Letscher] was kind of like, 'Jeff, um, I'm gonna pretend this is real easy and not a problem, but I've never done this at all.' And so you know, we were awkward for a while. And then he said, 'Let's go for it. Come on. I'm gonna pretend you're my girlfriend, my wife. Here we go.' And we had a lot of fun.

Jason Spezza

I was 13 or 14 and I met Donald Trump at a bar mitzvah of a good friend of ours, who's friends with him. He had his girlfriend at the time with him, that Melania with him. He said, 'Hey guys, if you work hard and be successful, you'll get one of these.' I'll never forget that. And now he's married to her.

Augusten Burroughs

Not crazy in a 'let's paint the kitchen bright red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I am God' sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the wax.p28

Aziz Ansari

She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.

Carrot Top

I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.

Carla Bruni

It's always astounded me to have succeeded at having kids. It's crazy!

Bret Easton Ellis

I totally relate to Tom Cruise. He's not crazy, it's just the litany of the mid-life crisis.

Marc Bulger

When I had the Miami (injury), I was able to go back in. But I knew after this one (against the Colts), I was unable to continue. But hopefully we'll get some good news . . . and they can shoot some crazy stuff in there, and I can come back sooner. Maybe. We'll see.

Diane Kruger

I don't want to let my life as a woman pass me by. There's a time to work, there's a time to be young and crazy, and there should be a time to enjoy motherhood. I'm actually looking forward to that.

Britney Spears

I like meeting all my fans and signing autographs, although it can all get a bit crazy. Yesterday, for example, a boy just came over and planted a big kiss on my face! I was like, 'Hello?'

Brian Lumley

But other vampire stories? Well, no, I really haven't read too many, and I can't say I'm crazy about romantic vampires anyway - to me the vampire is simply an evil monster.

Dick Lamm

This is not a self-correcting problem. PERA needs to be put on a long-term program toward solvency.

Jamie Zawinski

Your needs are big because the Internet is big.

Charles Spurgeon

Every generation needs regeneration

Dick Van Dyke

You need someone to love, and something to do that you enjoy, and something to hope for, and that's enough for me.

Elif Safak

No matter who we are or where we live, deep inside we all feel incomplete. It's like we have lost something and need to get it back. Just what that something is, most of us never find out. And of those who do, even fewer manage to go out and look for it.

Jerry Calhoun

Boeing has always provided a competitive package of total compensation that addresses the needs of all employees.

Ashley Wagner

I'm the type of skater that needs to stay upbeat and relaxed, open, because if I stay quiet, I get in my head, and then I start to think too much and start to doubt.

Susan Hill

To be honest, I find it ridiculous; they are pulling it. The president needs to regulate (gasoline prices).

Ron Howard

Viewing in a theater is the optimum experience. It needs to be preserved. ... But, at the end of the day, technology and viewers are going to tell us what they really want.