Famous Quotes & Sayings

Tricia Helfer

My husband says I like animals more than I like people. I take that as the compliment he means it as.

Raymond Chandler

There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.

Tracy Morgan

Everything I talk about in stand-up is my experiences as an American, as a father, as a husband, as a black man, as a human being.

Tracee Ellis Ross

The two things that I thought were really interesting about this character [Bow] for me were that she actually loved her husband, and he loved her. The comedy was not coming from the fact that they hated each other. Which is what television couples are usually based on.

Robert Johnson

I had a patient once who dreamed she kept her husband in the deep freeze except for mating. Lots of men feel that way.

Sarah Dessen

I don't talk about my books while I'm writing them: not even my husband knows what a novel's about until it's done.

Sandra Day O'Connor

I loved my husband very much, and it was heartbreaking to have him develop Alzheimer's disease, and to stand by and watch him decline in his ability to take care of himself.

Roseanne Barr

Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.

Roseanne Barr

This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: "Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left?" Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.

Richard Whately

Woman is like the reed which bends to every breeze, but breaks not in the tempest.

Woody Allen

See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.

Vanessa Bayer

Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school.

Robin Hobb

A woman of many talents. And intelligent, too. He'd probably have to kill her soon.

Samuel Johnson

Ladies, stock and tend your hive, Trifle not at thirty-five; For, howe'er we boast and strive, Life declines from thirty-five; He that ever hopes to thrive Must begin by thirty-five.

Warren Beatty

Women are a problem, but if you haven't already guessed, they are the kind of problem I enjoy wrestling with.

Virginia Woolf

Young women... you are, in my opinion, disgracefully ignorant. You have never made a discovery of any sort of importance. You have never shaken an empire or led an army into battle. The plays by Shakespeare are not by you, and you have never introduced a barbarous race to the blessings of civilization. What is your excuse?

Virginia Woolf

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.

Virginia Woolf

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.

Kelly Hu

Being Asian where you're supposed to be more quiet and softer and I was always getting reprimanded for laughing to loud or speaking to loudly.

Whitney Cummings

I have so much to be thankful for. I work with the most amazing people, get to make people laugh for a living and have the most amazing friends. But, I am mostly thankful for Spanx.

Walton Goggins

I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because they don't know whether to laugh or not, and I love that comedy.

Wanda Sykes

I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.

Roberto Bolano

They could read him, they could study him, they could pick him apart, but they couldn't laugh or be sad with him....

Yvette Nicole Brown

You have to find a way to not become bitter and live within the parameters of the situation and laugh your way through it…and you hope for a better day for the next generation.

Steve Zahn

Most people laugh at situations rather than a tagline anyway.

Robert G. Allen

When faced with disaster, learn to laugh faster.

Walter Mosley

I laugh, that there's a certain kind of cyclical nature to life and that I don't have to worry because whatever isn't there right now, it's coming back again.