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hilarious years ems
All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years. Sarah Palin
hilarious ego accepted
Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest. Willard Scott
hilarious machines my-favorite
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. Caroline Rhea
hilarious stars school
If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted. Mindy Kaling
hilarious england needs
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Matt Groening
hilarious believe vampire
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
hilarious silly men
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. Milton Berle
hilarious book library
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
hilarious dream love-yourself
If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize. Muhammad Ali
stills ifs died
If they asked how I died tell them: Still angry. Richard K. Morgan
stills smoke
I still probably smoke as much as I ever did! Willie Nelson
stills nelson
Unsurprisingly, Nelson Mandela had and still has many detractors. Henry Rollins
stills reporters
I'm an inexperienced reporter, and I'm still learning. Nick McDonell
stills great-faith
I still have great faith in what is good and right in all of us. Marvin Hamlisch
stills
Then everything was still. Absolutely still. Mary Pope Osborne
stills managers ireland
When John (Giles) was manager of Ireland, much as he loved me, he still dropped me. Eamon
stills surrogates supporter
I was a surrogate for Obama; I helped fundraise. I'm still a supporter. Brian J. White
stills
I'm still bald, I just wear a toupee. Jason Alexander