Famous Quotes & Sayings

John Cornyn

I think you'll probably see not only his erudition, but his sense of humor.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

William F. Buckley, Jr.

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Wayne Dyer

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

W. C. Fields

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

Yakov Smirnoff

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Jennifer Jones

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

Milarepa

Towards the end of our stay in Uruguay, Osho had started choosing questions of mine that had a humorous potential, ones he could use to make everyone - including himself! - laugh. In the first few weeks after I arrived, the tone of his discourses was quite serious: a lot of politics and talk about the world situation and so on. It provoked my mischievous side, so I would try to provoke him as well - and that divine smile of his - with my questions.

Joel Madden

I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.

Andy Warhol

I will go to the Opening of Anything, including a Toilet Seat

J. K. Rowling

We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!

Orson Scott Card

The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.

Petra Perry

I was delighted to find wide-plank floors under the crappy linoleum.

Tom Rothman

If you make good movies, people go. If you make crappy movies, they stay home.

Matthew Perry

I'm obviously comfortable with my feminine side! I didn't have any reservations playing a gay guy as it was kind of a neat idea to me. I'm able to drop all the crappy male stuff of trying to impress the girl and get her into bed, because she thinks I'm gay.

Robert Kirkman

I know there are a lot of readers that think I've got a very crappy marriage just because of the things going on with Rick and Lori but there's really nothing that's been like a mirror. I'm just making this stuff up.

Dax Shepard

I've had plenty of crappy jobs, but the only job I've ever really dedicated myself to has been acting. It's my life.

Fred Friendly

The news is the one thing that the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap - and they know it.

Tom Fletcher

It's something we don't like talking about because it's hard enough keeping stuff out of the press as it is. With all the crap that people write as well, it's just misrepresented and tangled.

Ozzie Guillen

That happened to me. I was talking crap about the White Sox, but I just said it once. That's it. I got it off of my chest. If you hear it day in and day out, people get aggravated about it.

Scott Hansen

It scared the crap out of me. I have never felt anything like it before. Well, yes I have, the 1994 Northridge earthquake (in California). It felt just like that.