Famous Quotes & Sayings

Umberto Eco

A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny.

Truman Capote

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.

Woody Allen

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Woody Allen

I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

Woody Allen

Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.

Robyn Carr

Count on Jill Shalvis for a witty, steamy, unputdownable love story.

Virginia Woolf

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

Samuel Goldwyn

They stayed away in droves.

Samuel Goldwyn

Keep a stiff upper chin.

Richard P. Feynman

Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation.

Ron Chernow

As the bull market goes on, people who take great risks achieve great rewards, seemingly without punishment. It's like crime without punishment or sex without sin.

Umberto Eco

I believe all sin, love, glory are this: when you slide down the knotted sheets, escaping from Gestapo headquarters, and she hugs you, there, suspended, and she whispers that she's always dreamed of you. The rest is just sex, copulation, the perpetuation of the vile species.

Rick Carlisle

If we were a sex manual it'd be a best-seller.

Rick James

After I saw Kiss on stage, I wanted my show to look like the fourth of July. The persona of Rick James was wild and crazy, sex, drugs and rock and roll.

Raymond Chandler

Their constant yelping about a free press means, with a few honorable exceptions, freedom to peddle scandal, crime, sex, sensationalism, hate, innuendo and the political and financial uses of propaganda. A newspaper is a business out to make money through advertising revenue. That is predicated on the circulation and you know what circulation depends on.

William S. Burroughs

Kerouac opened a million coffee bars and sold a million pairs of Levis to both sexes. Woodstock rises from his pages.

William S. Burroughs

In homosexual sex you know exactly what the other person is feeling, so you are identifying with the other person completely. In heterosexual sex you have no idea what the other person is feeling.

William S. Burroughs

Junk turns the user into a plant. Plants do not feel pain since pain has no function in a stationary organism. Junk is a pain killer. A plant has no libido in the human or animal sense. Junk replaces the sex drive. Seeding is the sex of the plant and the function of opium is to delay seeding. Perhaps the intense discomfort of withdrawal is the transition from plant back to animal, from a painless, sexless, timeless state back to sex and pain and time, from death back to life.

John Cornyn

I think you'll probably see not only his erudition, but his sense of humor.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

William F. Buckley, Jr.

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Wayne Dyer

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

W. C. Fields

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

Yakov Smirnoff

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Jennifer Jones

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

Milarepa

Towards the end of our stay in Uruguay, Osho had started choosing questions of mine that had a humorous potential, ones he could use to make everyone - including himself! - laugh. In the first few weeks after I arrived, the tone of his discourses was quite serious: a lot of politics and talk about the world situation and so on. It provoked my mischievous side, so I would try to provoke him as well - and that divine smile of his - with my questions.