Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bernard Malamud

One's fantasy goes for a walk and returns with a bride.

Bob Monkhouse

Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.

Rick Reilly

The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.

Sam Kinison

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Russell M. Nelson

The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever.

Kin Hubbard

The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.

Oscar Wilde

Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much... ...Monogamy ? It's the same.

Henny Youngman

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

Gracie Allen

You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?

Bette Davis

An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring... I ought to know.

James E. Faust

True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.

Chris Rock

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

Kevin Nealon

Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering.

John Mortimer

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.

Lord Byron

All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.

Heather Locklear

Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it.

E. W. Howe

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

Marc Maron

I was married once before, and I stopped.

Wendy Liebman

I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.