Aziz Ansari
Aziz Ansari
Aziz Ansariis an American actor and comedian. He is known for his roles as Tom Haverford on the NBC series Parks and Recreationand as Dev Shah on the Netflix series Master of None, which debuted in 2015 and Ansari created, writes, and stars in. The New York Times called the latter show "the year's best comedy straight out of the gate"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Actor
Date of Birth23 February 1983
CityColumbia, SC
CountryUnited States of America
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.
Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid. Usually standing from behind.
If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights...
Zerts' are what I call desserts. 'Trée-trées' are entrées. I call sandwiches 'sammies,' 'sandoozles,' or 'Adam Sandlers.' Air conditioners are 'cool blasterz' with a 'z' - I don't know where that came from. I call cakes 'big ol' cookies.' I call noodles 'long-ass rice.' Fried chicken is 'fry-fry chicky-chick.' Chicken parm is 'chicky-chicky-parm-parm.' Chicken cacciatore? 'Chicky-cacc.' I call eggs 'pre-birds,' or 'future birds.' Root beer is 'super water.' Tortillas are 'bean blankets.' And I call forks 'food rakes.'
I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.
If it's possible, I binge. There are other shows, like 'The Americans' and 'Game of Thrones,' I watch and have to wait a week.
Myself, Eric Wareheim, and Jason Woliner decided to start a Food Club where the three of us go to restaurants with a couple of other people. The three of us are the captains of the Food Club, so we have to wear the captains' hats.
You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. It's the hardest thing.