David D. Burns
David D. Burns
David D. Burnsis an adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and The Feeling Good Handbook. Burns popularized Aaron T. Beck's cognitive behavioral therapywhen his book became a best seller during the 1980s...
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personal-accountability forgiving guilt
Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.
forgiving screw-ups forgive-yourself
Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You're gonna screw up. It's okay.
powerful guilt behavior
Guilt serves a powerful social function in terms of policing our behavior.
hard-work people leader
People who are prone to guilt tend to work harder and perform better than people who are not guilt-prone, and are perceived to be more capable leaders.
lying thinking opportunity
People who expect to feel guilty tend to be more sympathetic, to put themselves into other people's shoes, to think about the consequences of their behaviour before acting, and to treasure their morals. As a result they are less prone to lie, cheat or behave immorally when they conduct a business deal or spot an opportunity to make money, studies suggest. They are also likely to make better employees because people who think less about the future results of their actions are more likely to be late, to steal or to be rude to clients.
responsibility self views
Surprisingly, it's forgiveness, not guilt, that increases accountability. Researchers have found that taking a self-compassionate point of view on a personal failure makes people more likely to take personal responsibility for the failure than when they take a self-critical point of view. They also are more willing to receive feedback and advice from others, and more likely to learn from the experience.
guilt helping should
Guilt doesn't help. What should fill in for it? Remorse. Remorse is when you feel bad about what you did. Guilt is when you feel bad about who you are.
powerful pride winning
Despite their differences, pride, shame, and guilt all activate similar neural circuits, including the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, amygdala, insula, and the nucleus accumbens. Interestingly, pride is the most powerful of these emotions at triggering activity in these regions - except in the nucleus accumbens, where guilt and shame win out. This explains why it can be so appealing to heap guilt and shame on ourselves - they're activating the brain's reward center.
mistake guilt way
Guilt is not the best way to remedy your mistakes.
sometimes humans persons
You're not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.
regret feel-better oil
Regret has a purpose. It's like the oil light on the dashboard of your life, telling you something needs to be fixed. So fix it. And feel better.
powerful recovery goal
Powerful new drug-free treatments have been developed for depression and for every conceivable type of anxiety, such as chronic worrying, shyness, public speaking anxiety, test anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks. The goal of the treatment is not just partial improvement but full recovery.
stars stress air
Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders, troubled relationships, and stress. They may even achieve less than others.
kindness anxiety causes
Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.