Jack Benny
Jack Benny
Jack Bennywas an American comedian, vaudevillian, radio, television and film actor, and violinist. Recognized as a leading American entertainer of the 20th century, Benny portrayed his character as a miser, playing his violin badly. In character, he would claim to be 39 years of age, regardless of his actual age...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth14 February 1894
CityChicago, IL
CountryUnited States of America
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.
Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.
I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.
I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.
Gags die, humor doesn't.
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.
The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!
When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him!
Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.
Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he's the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I've ever met. And I'll say that to his face - even if it costs me my job.
Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere