Jessi Klein
Jessi Klein
Jessi Ruth Kleinis an American comedy writer and stand-up comic based out of New York City. Klein has regularly appeared on shows such as The Showbiz Show with David Spade and VH1's Best Week Ever, and has performed stand-up on Comedy Central's Premium Blend. She provided commentary for CNN in the debates of the 2004 presidential election. A self-proclaimed "geek", Klein has appeared on the television specials for My Coolest Years: Geeks on VH1 and Rise of the Geeks on...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionWriter
Date of Birth17 August 1975
CountryUnited States of America
I remember the first time I heard a co-worker refer to himself as a foodie. It immediately irritated me. Was he implying that he appreciated food more than other people? That his love of eating was somehow more evolved than mine? Don't all people love the thing we can't live without?
I'm sick of the foodies who need every morsel that goes into their mouth to be a Picasso painting, a Giacometti sculpture, a Proust novel, evoking the world with each crumb.
I see an insidious problem in the marketing of weddings as 'the happiest day of your life.' The pressure that is placed upon this event to be the alpha and omega of your entire existence makes it, I think, into a kind of nuptial New Year's Eve, and we all know how that usually turns out.
If I have one wish for my birthday, it is that 35 is the end of desperation and the beginning of acceptance. Part of that is believing that if I'm meant to give birth, I will.
If I was president, of course I'd want an amendment banning boy bands, but it just wouldn't be right, and I wouldn't do it. Then again... I don't want to paint myself into a corner on this one. Let me think about it.
You know how Bed Bath & Beyond sells those white noise machines that help you sleep? And they usually make ocean noises? I want one that's just David Gergen gently muttering about the economy.
Being witty was the only side effect of being depressed that was working for me.
Im sick of the foodies who need every morsel that goes into their mouth to be a Picasso painting, a Giacometti sculpture, a Proust novel, evoking the world with each crumb.