Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
music hypocrisy bully
Music is a good thing; and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
glasses giving hypocrisy
I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
hypocrisy doe deeds
Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.
complaint complaints-and-complaining compliment courteous gentle ought precede resentment
I think a compliment ought to always precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.
awake refrain rule smoke
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake
number remember
It isn't so astonishing the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things that I can remember that aren't so.
complete failure judgment life likely lived secret
It is not likely that any complete life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person that lived it
appearance last since sister stated ugliest visited week wish withdraw woman
Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.
fact past restored solitary worth
I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering and that was the fact that it is past - and can't be restored
benefit ourselves whose
We do no benevolences whose first benefit is not for ourselves
academy boots born capacity chance greatest happens heaven knew meet military napoleon people shining
Well, we can take you to meet Napoleon -- but he's shining the boots of the person who actually was the world's greatest military genius. He happens to have been a tinsmith from Pennsylvania who never had a chance to go to a military academy -- so he never even knew he was a great military genius. He was born with that capacity -- and only here in heaven do we actually know who these people are.
envy pity
Pity is for living, envy is for dead.
class criminal except facts figures shown
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
fortune freedom god three wisdom
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.