Tommy Cooper
Tommy Cooper
Thomas Frederick Cooperwas a British prop comedian and magician. Cooper was a member of the Magic Circle, and respected by traditional magicians. He was famed for his red fez, and his appearance was large and lumbering, at 6 feet 4 inchesand more than 15 stonein weight. On 15 April 1984, Cooper collapsed, and died soon afterwards, from a heart attack on live national television...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionMagician
Date of Birth19 March 1921
dream eating funny last morning pillow pound ten woke
I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
blow chips please policeman stopped
A policeman stopped me and said: "Would you please blow into this bag, sir?" I said: "What for, officer?" He said: "My chips are too hot.
easy friends-or-friendship large lit meet poured together turkey wild
Wild Turkey is my friend. Old friends can meet any time. They're easy together like that. I poured myself a large one and lit a Benny. Brunch.
scotch-whisky three whiskey
I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!
lunch very-happy
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
blow bags hot
A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot.
mountain tails planes
I always sit in the tail end of a plane, always. You never hear of an plane backing into a mountain.
night wife car
My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.
camouflage trousers
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
beer lost whisky
I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 3 days already.
people down-and comedy
And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'
doctors wells i-can
Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's.” “Well you can't say fairer than that then
violin painting made
I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
wife funny-marriage toilets
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!