Victoria Wood
Victoria Wood
Victoria Wood CBEwas an English comedian, actress, singer and songwriter, screenwriter and director. Wood wrote and starred in sketches, plays, musicals, films and sitcoms, and her live comedy act was interspersed with her own compositions, which she performed on piano. Much of her humour was grounded in everyday life and included references to quintessentially "British" activities, attitudes and products. She was noted for her skills in observing culture and in satirising social classes...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth19 May 1953
I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.
All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.
I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.
Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.
Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers
I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.