Famous Quotes & Sayings

Rebecca West

Getting a divorce is nearly always as cheerful and useful an occupation as breaking valuable china.

Woody Allen

Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!

Woody Allen

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Will Ferrell

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

Richard Pryor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying till I get it right.

Walter Bagehot

Women--one half the human race at least--care fifty times more for a marriage than a ministry.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

Robert Louis Stevenson

You can forgive people who do not follow you through a philosophical disquisition; but to find your wife laughing when you had tears in your eyes, or staring when you were in a fit of laughter, would go some way towards a dissolution of the marriage.

Sarah Fielding

There is yet another kind of matrimonial dialect (which naturally succeeds this of talking at each other), which may very properlybe styled The Language Contradictory.... In the former, however plain the object of satire may be exhibited to the whole company, yet there always remains some little covering.... But in this last method, the defiance becomes more open and the impetuosity with which these contradictions are uttered (although the subjects of them are often of the most indifferent nature) evidently prove that they arise from passion.

John Cornyn

I think you'll probably see not only his erudition, but his sense of humor.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Woody Allen

At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

Woody Allen

Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

William F. Buckley, Jr.

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Wayne Dyer

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

W. C. Fields

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

Yakov Smirnoff

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Diana Williams

his wife recalled. ''I used to say, 'Charlie's asleep.' He was always so calm.

Virchand Gandhi

…the designation of wife in India, of the Hindu wife, is higher and grander than that of Empress. She is called Devi

William Wycherley

I love to be envied, and would not marry a wife that I alone could love; loving alone is as dull as eating alone.

Tori Amos

Anything a wife should do, I'm terrible at. Anything a mistress should do, I'll try.

William Blake

I have mental joys and mental health, Mental friends and mental wealth, I've a wife that I love and that loves me; I've all but riches bodily.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A woman in a single state may be happy and may be miserable; but most happy, most miserable, these are epithets belonging to a wife.

Ryan Reynolds

I dragged my wife from our honeymoon in Africa and landed her in Ontario, Canada, when it was -40 degrees,

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.

Rodney Dangerfield

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.