Related Quotes
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny stupid men
Men know everything - all of them - all the time - no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are. Andrea Dworkin
funny dog people
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. Alphonse de Lamartine
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny stupid science
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency. Albert Einstein
funny motivational inspiring
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. Albert Einstein
funny hilarious education
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
funny football distance
Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out. Alex Ferguson
morning sex white
People didn't know who I was or why I was there, so they started inventing stories about me. I was a registered sex offender and I'd just been released from prison and was being forced to do community-service work. I was a murderer, an arsonist - all these horrific things had been projected on me because no one knew what to make of this white guy who showed up and made toast at 5 o'clock every morning. Chuck Palahniuk
morning home successful
What surprised me about directing is how much I loved it and how happy I am to be on the set. I love coming to work in the morning. What I realized is that I never loved acting. I don't love being in the hair and makeup chair. I don't [love] being in costume. To me the strangest thing is that I've just spent the majority of my life in one aspect of this business, and because I was fortunate enough to become successful I never questioned whether I felt at home and found out later in life that I'm much happier directing. Angelina Jolie
morning trying shapes
Every time I get up in the morning, melodies occur to me and I start trying to shape lyrics to melodies. Andrew Bird
morning college america
While I was in college, I became a page at ABC. Suddenly I was working for Good Morning America, local news, national news. The page is the lowest rung of the ladder, and it's the also the place where you can ask any question and not feel dumb. Anne Sweeney
morning heart mind
Psychologically, I will not have to seek far if I decide to kill myself, because in my mind and heart I am more ready for this than for the unplanned daily tribulations that mark off the mornings and afternoons. Andrew Solomon
morning father book
Ursula and Gudrun Brangwen sat one morning in the window-bay of their father's house in Beldover, working and talking. D. H. Lawrence
morning doctors lust
When I went to the scientific doctor I realised what a lust there was in him to wreak his so-called science on me and reduce me to the level of a thing. So I said: Good-morning! and left him. D. H. Lawrence
morning flower adventure
And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created. D. H. Lawrence
morning yellow paper
Oh, I've discarded a great many [poems]. And occasionally I've discarded and then resurrected. I would find a crumpled yellow ball of paper in the wastebasket, in the morning, and open it to see what the hell I'd been up to; and occasionally it was something that needed only a very slight change to be brought off, which I'd missed the day before. Conrad Aiken
humorists
Great humorists are great insulters. Dick Cavett