Famous Quotes & Sayings

Yakov Smirnoff

I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.

Imelda May

I'm not filthy rich! I'm not as rich as people think. It's funny, isn't it?

Idina Menzel

I would love to play 'Funny Girl' or 'Evita,' but I idolize the women who have played those parts. I don't know if there needs to be another version of those shows.

Ian Frazier

Writing humor for me is more like a watchful-ness. You have to watch. When you say something funny, or someone else does, it's more like you wait for the piece.

Gaines Adams

It's funny, as a little kid, you look up to those guys who you play as in 'Madden,' and now to see myself in the game, it's an honor.

Whoopi Goldberg

I don't have to be bam, bam, bam, funny when I'm working. I can tell stories, and there's some funny in them.

Constance Wu

I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still funny because they're just likeable, and you want to see them. Me, though, when you see me trying to be funny, it's like the worst thing in the world. It's needy, it's cloying, it's manipulative - it's bad.

Don Rickles

If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance.

Mark Twain

The past may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme

Becky G

I look at old performance videos now, and it's really funny - I thought I was such a gangster!

Brad Goreski

I'm obsessed with sparkle for men. It's so funny watching people's reaction to a disco-ball shoe!

Bill Hader

There are some really funny women at 'SNL,' man.

Bill Hader

Pete Davidson - he's in the movie 'Trainwreck.' He has a small part in it. I told Lorne Michaels about him, said he was really funny.

David Walton

It's funny how when your kids get sick, they get even cuter when they have a stuffed nose and they mouth breathe.

David Walton

Chemistry's a funny thing. It can be instantaneous, but it helps when you know someone.

David Cross

It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.

Christina Baker Kline

My parents are a bedrock. And I have three complex, strong, and funny sisters who inspire and sustain me.

Denis Leary

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.

Bill Cosby

If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh.

Richie Benaud

Rory Bremner I have no problem with; he is a satirist, and a very funny one, too.

What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize.

Catullus

But you shall not escape my iambics.

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

Carrie Fisher

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

Carrie Fisher

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

Bill Burr

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Bill Burr

There's no "brothers" when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don't care about each other. He's not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio - I don't know that guy.

Bill Burr

Any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!

Bill Burr

My neighbor's not even listening to me. He's all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He's convinced it was designed by NASA. "Actually, it's got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the..." Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That's all I really care about you and your little garden hose.

Bill Burr

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.

Bill Burr

You're a kid, your whole life is awesome. It's awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren't scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult. All your IDs, all your credit cards - just run out of the house with no phone, turn the corner where you can't see your house, and not have a full on panic attack.

Bill Bryson

The universe is not only queerer than we suppose; it is queerer than we can suppose

Bette Davis

From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it.