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funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny stupid men
Men know everything - all of them - all the time - no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are. Andrea Dworkin
funny dog people
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. Alphonse de Lamartine
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny stupid science
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency. Albert Einstein
funny motivational inspiring
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
funny hilarious education
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
funny football distance
Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out. Alex Ferguson
government firsts students
At first I intended to become a student of the Senate rules and I did learn much about them, but I soon found that the Senate hadbut one fixed rule, subject to exceptions of course, which was to the effect that the Senate would do anything it wanted to do whenever it wanted to do it. Calvin Coolidge
government air law
There exists a shadowy Government with its own Air Force, its own Navy, its own fundraising mechanism, and the ability to pursue its own ideas of the national interest, free from all checks and balances, and free from the law itself. Daniel Inouye
government television monopoly
Television of course actually started in Britain in 1936, and it was a monopoly, and there was only one broadcaster and it operated on a license which is not the same as a government grant. David Attenborough
government law political
A representative form of government rests nor more on political contributions than on those laws which regulate the descent and transmission of property. Daniel Webster
government benefits majority
Many in local government will ask why should only a few areas have the freedoms and benefits of Enterprise Zone status while the majority lose out? Andy Sawford
government needs not-afraid
I'm not afraid to shake up the system, and government needs more shaking up than any other system I know. Ann Richards
government firsts first-amendment
The First Amendment is about how we govern ourselves - not about how we titillate ourselves sexually. Robert Bork
government alternatives failing
The American press is extraordinarily free and vigorous, as it should be. It should be, not because it is free of inaccuracy, oversimplification and bias, but because the alternative to that freedom is worse than those failings.
government law leader
Laws could be passed to keep the leader of a government from getting too much power. Thomas More