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funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny humorous life-sucks
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Aldous Huxley
funny life men
I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason. Doug E. Fresh
funny humor band
Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. Dylan Moran
funny jesus humor
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar. Doug Stanhope
funny humor opening-up
As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces. Doug Stanhope
funny humor years
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more. Doug Stanhope
funny humor people
I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet. Doug Stanhope
friendship honesty believe
Don't believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves. Albert Camus
friendship phones cells
My cell phone is my best friend. It's my lifeline to the outside world. Carrie Underwood
friendship divorce shoes
A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who demanded, "Was she not chaste? Was she not fair? Was she not fruitful?" holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made. "Yet," added he, "none of you can tell where it pinches me.'' Plutarch
humorists
Great humorists are great insulters. Dick Cavett