Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

Anthony Jeselnik

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Marcelo Enriquez

South is a very good team and I knew they were going to be much more competitive the second round.

Joe Linta

Special teams will be his meal ticket. He's got good speed and good hands. He's a real good 51, 52 or 53-type guy on the roster who can do a lot of things for you.

Kyle McLaren

Special teams was good tonight, especially the penalty kill.

Kelly Wood

One good shot from the opposition (centre guard) and that's all they needed to win. We had to hit at least three-quarters and it hung straight. That's curling.

Thomas Fuller

One good head is better than a hundred strong hands

John Sharp

One can say all they want about politicians, but politicians to other politicians, their word is almost always good.

Rob Hermann

Once you get to this point, you just want to see the local guys do well. Dustin is a good kid, and we love to help as much as possible.

Chris Chambers

Once you wrap that screen around, and you get really good sound you get immersed, ... You mentally make the leap that you're in this game. It's really amazing.

Stephen Malkmus

One day I'm going to write a straight-ahead story. I really want to, but I can't at the moment. I'm not very good at it right now.

Joby Scroggs

We knew going in that they were going to zero in on Kevin, who still had 115 yards in the game. Now, we've got another weapon - teams have to prepare even harder.

Chuck Tursky

I knew it was going to be a tight match. We needed every point.

C.C. Sabathia

I knew I hadn't pitched out of the stretch, but I wasn't thinking about a no-hitter.

Michael Oster

I knew I didn't want to do that forever. I was 26 years old and needed something different, an unusual challenge. So I moved to Western Europe.

Chris Hernandez

I knew I didn't have much time, that I had to take a step and let it go.

Deirdre O'Kane

I knew I couldn't do what Eddie Izzard does, so I just tried to write some stories that were based, or partly based, on my own experiences.

Cilla Black

I knew I could do anything I wanted to do and go anywhere I wanted to go and not have to worry if I could afford it.

Chuck Darby

I knew he was special from the first day when he took over the huddle. The huddle, that?s the linebacker?s house.

Elliott Ambrose

I knew he was going to get some time, but man. That's a long time.

Grover Norquist

The only whiners left by next week will be the registered bigots.

Mark Adams

We were kind of left to make it up as we went along.

Ed Westwick

Today there are paparazzi out, I'm doing a day of press, I'm in a hotel, I've just been on Radio 1. But when I'm in my day-to-day life people don't know who I am and I'm left to my own devices.

Percy Sledge

I'd liked this girl all through high school. After we graduated, we got together for a while, but she left me for another man.

Sonakshi Sinha

I enjoy my work, no matter who I am working with. Even if you give me a solo silent film, I will enjoy it.

Erinn Smart

Being one point ahead at the end - that's all that matters.

Angelina Jolie

We'll be on our way to Pakistan in a matter of days.

Arlen Specter

I think it's more a matter for them than us because we've got ... a lot of matters which take precedence over this for our own time,

Fritz Haber

Death is death no matter how it is inflicted

Ben Braaten

No matter what, we are going to pressure the ball.

Galvin Morris

No matter what the score is, they've now been in that situation. They now can say we've been there before and we can come back.

Bruce Lowry

Any time we're a subject matter of one of these rumors we don't talk. There's nothing to be gained.

Peter Medawar

The attempt to discover and promulgate the truth is nevertheless an obligation upon all scientists, one that must be persevered in no matter what the rebuffs—for otherwise what is the point in being a scientist?

Willie Smith

If the students see it as something they can put to use, then they are interested.