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funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny humorous life-sucks
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Aldous Huxley
funny life men
I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason. Doug E. Fresh
funny humor band
Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. Dylan Moran
funny humor opening-up
As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces. Doug Stanhope
funny humor trying
I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.
funny humor alcohol
They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.
funny cancer humor
All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs... and more holes, that's what you ladies need!
heaven legends crime
Heavenly witnesses are a tricky lot, to be used by whoever is closest to Heaven at the time. And legend and theology, which are designed to sanctify our fears, crimes, and aspirations, also reveal them for what they are. James A. Baldwin
heaven church christianity
Being no bigot myself, I am disposed to indulge the professors of Christianity in the church that road to heaven which to them shall seem the most direct, plainest, easiest and least liable to exception. George Washington
heaven suffering earth
Do not despise your situation; in it you must act, suffer, and conquer. From every point on earth we are equally near to heaven and to the infinite. Henri Frederic Amiel
heaven might granted
Be careful what you ask of Heaven; it might be granted. Isabel Allende
heaven home
Home is heaven and orgies are vile/ But you need an orgy, once in a while. Ogden Nash
heaven way hardest
Do not ask God the way to heaven; He will show you the hardest way. Bill Vaughan
heaven may location
The precise location of heaven on earth has never been established but it may very well be right here Herb Caen
heaven doubt evening
If naturalists go to heaven (about which there is considerable ecclesiastical doubt), I hope that I will be furnished with a troop of kakapo to amuse me in the evening instead of television. Gerald Durrell
heaven earth littles
And earth was heaven a little the worse for wear. And heaven was earth, done up again to look like new. Wilkie Collins