Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Ann Brashares

There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.

Ann Brashares

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Andy Borowitz

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Andy Borowitz

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Andy Borowitz

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Andy Borowitz

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Andy Borowitz

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Ernest Hemingway

I wish I had died before I ever loved anyone but her.

George Washington

[M]y wish is, that the Convention may adopt no temporizing expedient, but probe the defects of the Constitution [i.e., the Articles of Confederation] to the bottom, and provide radical cures.

Jim Carrey

I wish everyone could experience being rich and famous, so they'd see it wasn't the answer to anything.

Jennifer Young

Pause and remember - Stop procrastinating! Wishing is wonderful but action is what it takes to make it happen.

Jeff Bridges

I wish I were more disciplined.

Friedrich Nietzsche

What? You seek something? You wish to multiply yourself tenfold, a hundredfold? You seek followers? Seek zeros!

George Bernard Shaw

When a heretic wishes to avoid martyrdom he speaks of "Orthodoxy, True and False" and demonstrates that the True is his heresy.

George Bernard Shaw

It's so hard to know what to do when one wishes earnestly to do right.

Franz Kafka

I never wish to be easily defined.