Famous Quotes & Sayings

Umberto Eco

A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny.

Truman Capote

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.

Woody Allen

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Woody Allen

I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

Woody Allen

Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.

Robyn Carr

Count on Jill Shalvis for a witty, steamy, unputdownable love story.

Virginia Woolf

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

Samuel Goldwyn

Keep a stiff upper chin.

Samuel Goldwyn

Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.

Kelly Hu

Being Asian where you're supposed to be more quiet and softer and I was always getting reprimanded for laughing to loud or speaking to loudly.

Whitney Cummings

I have so much to be thankful for. I work with the most amazing people, get to make people laugh for a living and have the most amazing friends. But, I am mostly thankful for Spanx.

Walton Goggins

I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because they don't know whether to laugh or not, and I love that comedy.

Wanda Sykes

I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.

Roberto Bolano

They could read him, they could study him, they could pick him apart, but they couldn't laugh or be sad with him....

Yvette Nicole Brown

You have to find a way to not become bitter and live within the parameters of the situation and laugh your way through it…and you hope for a better day for the next generation.

William Joyce

Life is made up of danger and heartbreak, I laugh in the face of both!

Steve Zahn

Most people laugh at situations rather than a tagline anyway.

Robert G. Allen

When faced with disaster, learn to laugh faster.

Mike Coulter

I think it is the most challenging race in the city. This year, it is the longest competitive race in the city.

F. Stone

I think what makes this one different is just the sheer scope and size of it. It's just going to be a much, much longer haul.

Tricia Helfer

Treating myself is more about just going out and having a great hike, or going on a long motorbike ride.

Willie Garson

String theory?[pause] It closed the conceptual gulp between relativity and quantum mechanics. It postulates that subatomic particles are not points, but strings, about one planck length long. The rate at which strings vibrate can generate the properties of all known particles. Huh? How did I know that?

Woodrow Wilson

They lived long that have lived well.

Woody Allen

I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.

William J. Clinton

Some people say well we need a change. Hillary Clinton is been around a long, she sure has, and she's sure been worth every single year she's put into making people's lives better.

William Gibson

Stand high long enough and your lightning will come.

Ric Ocasek

Your high points and your low points. High points don't last that long, it's a high and it happens. It's great at the moment but you really can't live on it.