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funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny stupid men
Men know everything - all of them - all the time - no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are. Andrea Dworkin
funny dog people
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. Alphonse de Lamartine
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny stupid science
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency. Albert Einstein
funny motivational inspiring
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. Albert Einstein
funny hilarious education
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
funny football distance
Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out. Alex Ferguson
moving long helping
I like 'As Long As You Love Me' and 'Boyfriend' by Justin Bieber. It gets you moving - you just can't help it! And 'Teach Me How To Dougie' gets Zendaya and I every time. Bella Thorne
moving blood unhappy
Your emotions are meant to fluctuate, just like your blood pressure is meant to fluctuate. It's a system that's supposed to move back and forth, between happy and unhappy. That's how the system guides you through the world. Daniel Gilbert
moving thinking keys
I think that's the key to being a director: to be able to get the shot and move on quickly. Bobby Farrelly
moving men feet
There is a calm for you where men and women Unroll the chill precision of moving feet. Allen Tate
moving adventure enough
I've got enough money to live where I want, but I don't want to move.Go out and have sexual adventures in Burma. Allen Ginsberg
moving golf land
Sir Guy Campbell's classic account of the formation of the links, beginning with Genesis and moving step by step to the thrilling arrival of 'tilth' on the fingers of coastal land, suggests that such notable features of our planet as dinosaurs, the prairies, the Himalayas, the seagull, the female of the species herself, were accidental by-products of the Almighty's preoccupation with the creation of the Old Course at St. Andrews. Alistair Cooke
moving perfect giving
I didn't like most of my boyfriends. I'm a perfect example of somebody who will make it work no matter what. Like, I once had a guy move in with me. He was my least favorite. Nobody who went out with us knew that we were together. I just would not give off the vibe. Alison Pill
moving film authority
The State Film Authority will be there for film as industry only, as is the case in all the other states, except Victoria. Victoria is moving more now into supporting non-commercial films. Ann Macbeth
moving together matter
But I know this. We're ready to move forward again in our way. Together or apart, no matter how far apart, we live in one another. We go on together. Ann Brashares