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hilarious years ems
All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years. Sarah Palin
hilarious ego accepted
Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest. Willard Scott
hilarious machines my-favorite
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. Caroline Rhea
hilarious stars school
If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted. Mindy Kaling
hilarious england needs
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Matt Groening
hilarious believe vampire
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
hilarious silly men
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. Milton Berle
hilarious book library
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
hilarious dream love-yourself
If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize. Muhammad Ali
funny-life helping-others earth
We are all here on earth to help others. W. H. Auden
funny-life ends ifs
You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend. Edgar Guest
funny-life age lucky
I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you. Andy Rooney
funny-life worry anxiety
I try not to worry about the future - so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time. Tom Wilson
funny-life feelings jokes
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling. Friedrich Nietzsche
funny-life crazy drama
Life is funny. Life isn’t categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don’t know why they try to categorize everything. It drives me crazy-why it would have to be just a romantic comedy or…I want to have a little integrity, a little story, you know Jennifer Aniston
funny-life important life-is
The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life. Frank Zappa
food knowledge practice
Knowledge that is not put into practice is like food that is not digested. Sathya Baba
food innovation lack news
There is a lack of innovation, lack of reinvestment, and lack of news in the category. We're not recommending any large-cap food names. Timothy Ramey
foods growing large market markets organic played produced role
There is a growing market today for local, organic foods produced by small farmers. And farmers' markets have played a large role in making that happen. Eric Schlosser
food local water
We've been told they have to be 'completely self-sufficient,' ... so they have to take their own food, water and clothing. There is no local support. Allen Johnson
food help lost people realize trying water
We've got to realize that these people lost everything they had. For some people they didn't have food or water for days. I'm just trying to do my part and help out as much as I can. Gilbert Arenas
food group movement people preserve protect rise slow
I think that the rise of a group of people called the slow food movement is doing a lot to try to protect and preserve traditions. Mario Batali
food good spirit
When they see the Spirit of Connecticut coming, they'll know they're going to get good food coming. Thomas Armstrong
food squirrels grit
First, a gorgeous breakfast: just everything you can imagine from flapjacks and fried squirrel to hominy grits and honey in the comb...we're so impatient to get at the presents we can't eat a mouthful. Truman Capote
food angel cooking
He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. Raymond Chandler