Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Kathryn Prescott

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Craig Ferguson

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

Craig Ferguson

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

Craig Ferguson

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Al Capone

Vote early and vote often.

Donald Barthelme

HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price.

Tom Stoppard

The days of the digital watch are numbered.

Tom Stoppard

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Tina Fey

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

Tim Ferriss

What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it.

Sophie Kinsella

Being a journalist is good if you want to write books: it teaches you to get beyond the blank screen. My books have been described as froth, but there's scope to be witty and ironic about everything in life.

Shahrukh Khan

I don't write cheques anymore because I end up signing them "with love, shan rukh"

Miguel de Cervantes

A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him puts a blindfold over his eyes so that he does not see his defects but considers them signs of charm and intelligence and recounts them to his friends as if they were clever and witty.

Augusten Burroughs

Not crazy in a 'let's paint the kitchen bright red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I am God' sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the wax.p28

Aziz Ansari

She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.

Carrot Top

I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.

Carla Bruni

It's always astounded me to have succeeded at having kids. It's crazy!

Bret Easton Ellis

I totally relate to Tom Cruise. He's not crazy, it's just the litany of the mid-life crisis.

Marc Bulger

When I had the Miami (injury), I was able to go back in. But I knew after this one (against the Colts), I was unable to continue. But hopefully we'll get some good news . . . and they can shoot some crazy stuff in there, and I can come back sooner. Maybe. We'll see.

Diane Kruger

I don't want to let my life as a woman pass me by. There's a time to work, there's a time to be young and crazy, and there should be a time to enjoy motherhood. I'm actually looking forward to that.

Britney Spears

I like meeting all my fans and signing autographs, although it can all get a bit crazy. Yesterday, for example, a boy just came over and planted a big kiss on my face! I was like, 'Hello?'

Brian Lumley

But other vampire stories? Well, no, I really haven't read too many, and I can't say I'm crazy about romantic vampires anyway - to me the vampire is simply an evil monster.