Related Quotes
funny
That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt. Jarome Iginla
funny truth communication
When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken. Benjamin Disraeli
funny thinking ideas
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. Demetri Martin
funny issues kites
I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues" Demetri Martin
funny happiness success
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. Damon Runyon
funny birthday beauty
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. Coco Chanel
funny problem said
When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile. Bob Edwards
funny humor people
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Billy Connolly
funny witty humorous
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Billy Connolly
witty humorous voting
Vote early and vote often. Al Capone
witty cutting winning
HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price. Donald Barthelme
witty time watches
The days of the digital watch are numbered. Tom Stoppard
witty truth honesty
It is better to be quotable than to be honest. Tom Stoppard
witty mad people
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone. Tina Fey
witty flower giving
Poesy is a beauteous damsel, chaste, honourable, discreet, witty, retired, and who keeps herself within the limits of propriety. She is a friend of solitude; fountains entertain her, meadows console her, woods free her from ennui, flowers delight her; in short, she gives pleasure and instruction to all with whom she communicates. Miguel de Cervantes
witty thinking trying
If you think someone's trying too hard, that's the worst thing they can do. To me, it's just desperate, never funny and never witty. It's kind of really old hat because just being shocking isn't enough. It has to change how you think about something. It has to startle you. It has to make you look at something and reconsider whether you're right. That's the whole point. John Waters
witty powerful humorous
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. John von Neumann
witty hate people
Twitter has restored my faith in humanity. I thought I'd hate it, but while there are lots of knobheads, there are even more lovely people. It delights me how witty and friendly most people are. John Simm
crazy kitchen gone
Not crazy in a 'let's paint the kitchen bright red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I am God' sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without then having to eat the wax.p28 Augusten Burroughs
crazy men people
She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage. Aziz Ansari
crazy kids having-kids
It's always astounded me to have succeeded at having kids. It's crazy! Carla Bruni
crazy good hopefully knew miami news shoot stuff unable
When I had the Miami (injury), I was able to go back in. But I knew after this one (against the Colts), I was unable to continue. But hopefully we'll get some good news . . . and they can shoot some crazy stuff in there, and I can come back sooner. Maybe. We'll see. Marc Bulger
crazy motherhood being-a-mom
I don't want to let my life as a woman pass me by. There's a time to work, there's a time to be young and crazy, and there should be a time to enjoy motherhood. I'm actually looking forward to that. Diane Kruger
crazy writing waiting
That was the trouble with being a writer, that was the main trouble—leisure time, excessive leisure time. You had to wait around for the buildup until you could write and while you were waiting you went crazy, and while you were going crazy you drank and the more you drank the crazier you got. Charles Bukowski
crazy kids class
I was this kid who never sat down. Nobody liked me? Well, I'd make sure they'd like me. I was the class clown, always doing crazy stuff and causing riots. Bas Rutten
crazy goes hot
(Dover) is going to be hot and crazy because it's new and fresh. There are always going to be lulls (in Portsmouth). Everything goes in cycles. Mike Marchand
crazy exciting fortunate hockey season tickets win
(Crosby's arrival) will really revitalize hockey in Pittsburgh, back to when I was fortunate enough to win back in '91. It's pretty awesome. We've got our season tickets going crazy ... it's been pretty exciting around here. Mark Recchi