Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

Anthony Jeselnik

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Oliver Goldsmith

Let observation with observant view, Observe mankind from China to Peru.

Pico Iyer

We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate.

Phillip Phillips

Hold on to me as we go, as we roll down this unfamiliar road. And although this wave is stringing us along, just know you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna make this place your home.

Kylie Minogue

I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally.

Marc Jacobs

I mean, I'd love to have a private jet - I know people who fly by private jet all the time... I've hitched a ride a few times and it is not overrated at all; it's a great way to travel!

Marc Cohn

Walking in Memphis, I was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale. Walking in Memphis, but do I really feel the way I feel?

Natalie Merchant

I've walked these streets, in a carnival of sights to see. All the cheap thrill seekers, the vendors & the dealers, they crowded around me. Have I been blind? Have I been lost, inside myself and my own mind? Hypnotized, mesmerized, by what my eyes have seen? I've walked these streets, in a spectacle of wealth & poverty. In the diamond market, the scarlet welcome carpet that they just rolled out for me.

Natalie Goldberg

Anything we fully do is an alone journey.

Taylor Swift

Walking through a crowd, the village is aglow. Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats, under coats. Everybody here wanted something more. Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before. And it said, 'Welcome to New York,' It's been waiting for you. It's a new soundtrack, I could dance to this beat forevermore. The lights are so bright, but they never blind me.

Robert A. Heinlein

To assess the intelligence of a committee, divide the IQ of its stupidest member by the number of members.

Vernon Jordan

A lot of companies make diversity a part of the performance goals against which an executive gets paid. Just as you have to make a certain sales number, you have to make a diversity number to get your bonus.

Nicholson Baker

You can register a political objection in a number of ways.

Henri Cartier-Bresson

Why do photographers start giving numbers to their prints? It’s absurd. What do you do when the 20th print has been done? Do you swallow the negative? Do you shoot yourself? It’s the gimmick of money.

Will Forte

It takes a certain type of person to register your 'Donkey Kong' score. So I'm just number 29 in registered Donkey Kong scores.

Muhammad Ali

God gave me this illness to remind me that I'm not Number One; He is.

Mitchell Hurwitz

There was so much talk about the movie and we thought, "Wouldn't it be great to still do the movie, but to give everybody this thing they didn't see coming?" Even with the number of episodes, it was reported that there was going to be 10 episodes, and then there was talk about adding more.

Martin Jacques

There are a host of ethnic minorities in China, but they often have a weak sense of identity and are relatively small in total number. History has taught the Han that other groups will and should ultimately be absorbed and assimilated as Han. There is a belief that the Han enjoy a superior and far more advanced culture.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I want to suggest some of the things that should begin your life's blueprint. Number one...should be a deep belief in your own dignity. Your worth and your own somebodiness... Always feel that you count. Always feel that you have worth, and always feel that your life has ultimate significance.