Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Drew Carey

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Doug E. Fresh

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.

Dylan Moran

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.

Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Dylan Moran

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

Dylan Moran

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"

Dick Cavett

Great humorists are great insulters.

Ayn Rand

And man will go on. Man, not men.

Calvin Coolidge

That man has offered me unsolicited advice for six years, most of it bad.

Richard G. Scott

The seminary programs will help you as a young man or woman to lay a foundation for happiness and success in life.

Sydney Smith

A man who wishes to make his way in life could do no better than go through the world with a boiling tea-kettle in his hand.

Adrian Edmondson

I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.

Abdallah II of Jordan

We have peace with Israel. We're actually the last man standing. So there is going to be immense pressure and people asking, 'Why are we having this relationship when it's not benefiting anybody?' Obviously, my answer is you always benefit from peace.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Ah! Up then from the ground sprang I And hailed the earth with such a cry As is not heard save from a man Who has been dead, and lives again. About the trees my arms I wound; Like one gone mad I hugged the ground; I raised my quivering arms on high; I laughed and laughed into the sky...

Terry Pratchett

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

Thomas Fuller

A little skill in antiquity inclines a man to Popery.