Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

Anthony Jeselnik

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Jack Kerouac

Nothing ever happened - Not even this

Jason Jennings

It's stuff we practice all spring. And when we're out there doing it, we're like, 'Well, is this ever going to happen during the season?' Sure enough, we executed it well (Monday).

Jeff Squibb

That is rare. I do not know if I have ever seen that happen before.

Jon Yackmack

That is the worst thing you want to happen. You want to be the one to get the next goal. Unfortunately, we let that happen to us.

Dorothy Kelly

That is the quickest way to reach everyone. We need to get enough people together, but this is very preliminary. We must take small steps to get to a big step. This will not happen quickly.

Benny Parsons

Talladega is the wild card; anything can happen there and no one is immune.

John Bryant

Its just a big mess whats going on, especially for myself, the players and the staff, and no one knows whats going to happen in the long run.

David Tom

It scared me enough that I want to do something about it right away, ... I don't want it to happen again.

Chris Reitsma

It needed to happen sooner or later, and it was important for us to win three in a row now and take it on the road. It seems like we've been on the road all year, but we have to play better on the road.

Andy Johnson

Some people think that because it's a threatened species, that every one we save is good. But not if they never get to live in the wild.

Andrew Niccol

Some people think 'Lord of War' is a political film,

Daniel Petrocelli

Some people think it's a waste of time to go to trial here.

Liam Hemsworth

Southern people remind me a lot of Australia.

Jim Anderson

So we're trying to let people know that we will automatically enroll them in Part D and there is no premium at all,

Susan Murray

So we're telling people they should know what they're paying.

Mark Rylance

So there's a lot of people tied into believing that the traditional response to the authorship question. In terms of actors, some people get very angry about it.

E. O. Wilson

so that the will of the people can be upheld.

J. J. Johnson

Once you go out and start making plays, they don't say that anymore, ... You just have to play and show people what you can do.

Mike Davis

Before, I just used vacation time when we did tours.

Jack Parker

We were dominated. At no time were we in this game.

Annie Dillard

A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time.

Thomas Carlyle

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better, Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time.

Henri Bergson

Wherever anything lives, there is, open somewhere, a register in which time is being inscribed.

Charlie King

Right place at the right time is all I can say about that one.

Gil Brandt

Really? I think for a long time they probably didn't have a quarterback because they were a wishbone team.

Robert Battle

Reflection is not something you have a lot of time for.

Sarah MacLean

If you think back to your time as a teenager, everything was dramatic.