Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Drew Carey

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Doug E. Fresh

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.

Dylan Moran

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.

Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Dylan Moran

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

Dylan Moran

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"

Charles Bukowski

After dinner or lunch or whatever it was -- with my crazy 12-hour night I was no longer sure what was what -- I said, "Look, baby, I'm sorry, but don't you realize that this job is driving me crazy? Look, let's give it up. Let's just lay around and make love and take walks and talk a little. Let's go to the zoo. Let's look at animals. Let's drive down and look at the ocean. It's only 45 minutes. Let's play games in the arcades. Let's go to the races, the Art Museum, the boxing matches. Let's have friends. Let's laugh. This kind of life like everybody else's kind of life: it's killing us.

Robert Bloch

I haven't had this much fun since the rats ate my baby sister

Rick Reilly

I was a terrible Sugar Babies addict, so I had more cavities than the surface of the moon.

Sam Snead

Grip the club as if you were holding a baby bird.

Sufjan Stevens

An imaginary baby is so much easier than a real baby. No diapers to change.

Richie Havens

Live Aid was a baby Woodstock, a child of Woodstock, which I call Globalstock.

Tim McGraw

I may be a real bad boy, but baby I'm a real good man.

Toni Morrison

I write the way women have babies. You don't know it's going to be like that. If you did, there's no way you would go through with it.

Tina Fey

No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.