Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Drew Carey

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Doug E. Fresh

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.

Dylan Moran

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.

Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Dylan Moran

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

Dylan Moran

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"

Bristol Palin

Never lie to your mother. That's like the biggest lesson that I learned, learned throughout my life, you know?

Alexander McCall Smith

My parents were very supportive and always encouraged us. My father was a gentle, nice man. My mother was quite a colorful character and a keen reader who encouraged me to write.

Alexander Pope

Presumptuous Man! the reason wouldst thou find,Why form'd so weak, so little, and so blind?First, if thou canst, the harder reason guess,Why form'd no weaker, blinder, and no less!Ask of thy mother earth, why oaks are madeTaller or stronger than the weeds they shade?Or ask of yonder argent fields above,Why Jove's Satellites are less than Jove?

Alexa Vega

I was raised by a very strict, good mother, so I wont be getting out of line anytime soon.

Alex Trebek

What goes 0-300 in less than 2 seconds? Your mother on a scale.

Alex Trebek

If you can't be in awe of Mother Nature, there's something wrong with you.

Alex Kingston

I didn't have any qualms. I'm used to taking my clothes off in front of strangers. I've done it since I was 14 - with my mother's adult education art classes. She liked to paint and I went along as a life model.

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Water is life's matter and matrix, mother and medium. There is no life without water.

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Water, the Hub of Life. Water is its mater and matrix, mother and medium. Water is the most extraordinary substance! Practically all its properties are anomolous, which enabled life to use it as building material for its machinery. Life is water dancing to the tune of solids.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.