Famous Quotes & Sayings

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Ann Brashares

There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.

Ann Brashares

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Andy Borowitz

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Andy Borowitz

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Andy Borowitz

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Andy Borowitz

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

Andy Borowitz

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Coco Chanel

One should refrain from contempt for the baser specimens of humanity, for whom liberation amounts to shaving the heads of women who have slept with Germans.

Albert Schweitzer

Who shall enumerate the many ways in which that costly piece of fixed capital, a human being , may be employed! More of him is wanted everywhere! Hunt, then, for some situation in which your humanity may be used.

Mark Twain

Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Hjalmar Branting

A formally recognized equality does, however, accord the smaller nations a position which they should be able to use increasingly in the interest of humanity as a whole and in the service of the ideal