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funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny stupid men
Men know everything - all of them - all the time - no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are. Andrea Dworkin
funny dog people
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. Alphonse de Lamartine
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny stupid science
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency. Albert Einstein
funny motivational inspiring
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. Albert Einstein
funny hilarious education
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
funny football distance
Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out. Alex Ferguson
love friendship happiness
Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. Sydney Smith
love religious powerful
The Truth that is to be Realized may be summarized simply as the Realization that no matter what is arising, no matter how many others are present, there is only One Being. This is precisely different from the childish but common religious notion that even when you are alone there is always Someone Else present, Who will look out for you if you do the right thing. True freedom is not a matter of striking a deal with an All-Powerful Parental Deity; no such God exists. True freedom is in the Realization that there is only God and You are That One. Author unknown
love
When you love somebody and they die young and you are young, too, it is very hard. Daniel Barenboim
love fall judging
Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Cynthia Heimel
love inspirational relationship
All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership. Ann Landers
love humble helping-others
To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own. Abraham Lincoln
love inspirational life
He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help. Abraham Lincoln
love
I love the sci-fi world and the way it makes me start to question things. Henry Ian Cusick
love glasses understanding
And we all know love is a glass which makes even a monster appear fascinating. Alberto Moravia