Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Elbert Hubbard

A pessimist? That's a person who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist.

Dizzy Dean

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

Bobby Jones

Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears.

Ashley Williams

I'm not a person who can spontaneously say funny things.

Maria Bamford

When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it the way I want them to.

Rick Parker

We don't have to interpret what it looks like. This is what it is.

Ursula K. Le Guin

All knowledge is local, all truth is partial. No truth can make another truth untrue. All knowledge is part of the whole knowledge. Once you have seen the larger pattern, you cannot go back to seeing the part as the whole.

John Locke

Beware how in making the portraiture thou breakest the pattern: for divinity maketh the love of ourselves the pattern; the love of our neighbours but the portraiture.