Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Attell

I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said!

Robert Harris

To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.

Rick Riordan

Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints.

Tom Cullen

When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on Valentine's Day, I painted a canvas of her, bought her a massage, put flowers on the stairs, and ran a bath.

Michael Rapaport

In any relationship that comes to an end, there's never just a baseline reason why. You say, 'Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.' Someone says, 'Why?' You say, 'Well, you got three hours? And then maybe after I tell you my version, you've got to talk to her.

Jens Lehmann

I do not have a 24-year-old girlfriend. I have another life altogether.

Jason Spezza

I was 13 or 14 and I met Donald Trump at a bar mitzvah of a good friend of ours, who's friends with him. He had his girlfriend at the time with him, that Melania with him. He said, 'Hey guys, if you work hard and be successful, you'll get one of these.' I'll never forget that. And now he's married to her.

Jeff Garcia

I don't know if it's how I speak or what it is about me that presents that sort of label, but I don't know how many times I have to be out in public with a girlfriend to stop that from being said.

Jenny Lawson

It's true, I did say I wanted girlfriends," I capitulated hesitantly, "but couldn't we start with something smaller and less terrifying? Like maybe spend a weekend at a crack house? I heard those people are very nonjudgmental, and if you accidentally say something offensive you can just blame it on their hallucinations.

Dan Mullen

Because we feel there was a good-faith argument to make that the statute as written was constitutional, we feel we have an obligation to make that argument if at all possible.

Greg Taxin

It is a sad day in the history of a public company when its best argument is that it previously filed false statements with the SEC.

Ellen Gordon

I think there's a natural argument between the tongue and the teeth. I barely ever get there without biting.

Kevin Landis

The argument for optimism is stronger today than it was a year ago. I'm happy having most of my money invested in tech.

Greg White

The argument came down to the fact that we wanted people to truly be able to identify sex offenders without confusion,

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

Paula Poundstone

I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.

Mike Helton

An argument can be made either way, but as time goes on a stronger argument may be that an owner with multiple teams contributes to the roadblocks. That's an issue NASCAR has to take a hard look at.

Margaret Cho

And especially, especially, don't f*ck with vegans. Do not look vegans in the eye. If you get into an argument with a vegan, say "I'm wrong", and run away as fast as you can. Do not f*ck with vegans because they will f*ck you up... BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNGRY.