Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Drew Carey

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Doug E. Fresh

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.

Dylan Moran

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.

Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Dylan Moran

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

Dylan Moran

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"

Conrad Aiken

The truth--a hideous spectacle!

Sydney J. Harris

Honesty consists of the unwillingness to lie to others; maturity, which is equally hard to attain, consists of the unwillingness to lie to oneself.

Thomas Jefferson

Ignorance is preferable to error, and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing than he who believes what is wrong.

Mason Cooley

Disillusionment is not truth.

Mason Cooley

Errors are more numerous than truths, but fortunately too divided among themselves to take power.

Mason Cooley

Truth is a necessary phantom.

Mason Cooley

Birth dates and bathroom scales tell more truth than I want to know.

Margaret Oliphant

Somehow even a popular fallacy has an aspect of truth when it suits one's own case.

Michel de Montaigne

I have never known a greater miracle, or monster, than myself.

Art Buchwald

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

Eckhart Tolle

If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace.

Dr. Seuss

If you want to catch beasts you don't see every day, You have to go places quite out of the way, You have to go places no others can get to. You have to get cold and you have too get wet, too.

Dolly Parton

When I sit back in my rocking chair someday, I want to be able to say I've done it all.

Deval Patrick

I don't want to be a senator.

Derek Luke

I get to be in movies where it's mostly dialogue, and I want to be in something, that for me, feels like kickboxing.

Dean Heller

As someone who grew up in tough circumstances, I know that being on public assistance is not a spot that anyone wants to be in.

Amber Benson

I wouldn't want to forget anything, even the weird stuff and the bad stuff. It makes you who you are.

Amber Heard

For someone like me, who prefers to keep their life as private as possible, it was disconcerting to have to define so much about myself. I don't want to be labeled as one thing or another.