Famous Quotes & Sayings

Molly Ivins

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Kim Harrison

Somehow I found him. Somehow I found Al's sarcastic thoughts, bitter and old. Tired, angry, bored. Alone.

Mark Twain

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Mark Twain

In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Mark Twain

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Mary Roberts Rinehart

Useless as a pulled tooth.

Nick Moran

My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.

Mark Twain

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Natasha Leggero

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

Eminem

It's not a contest, and I ain't on no conquest for no mate.