Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allan Sloan

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.

Russell Lynes

Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.

Russell Lynes

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Robert Redford

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.

W. Somerset Maugham

She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.

Jonathan Swift

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.

Jonathan Swift

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.

Joe Orton

You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

Henry Adams

There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.

Hedda Hopper

You had to stand in line to hate him.

Hedrick Smith

Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka, smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and vodka-anything and everything and vodka.

Hector Hugh Munro

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

James Fallows

I've learned that I need to spell out, even in cases seemingly so blatant, that in fact I am not taking this at face value and am being 'sarcastic.

Laurence J. Peter

It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.

Liberace

What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.

Luther Vandross

The best things in life are free

Orhan Pamuk

Oscar Wilde always makes me smile - with respect and admiration. His short stories prove that it is possible to be both sarcastic, even cynical, but deeply compassionate. Just seeing the cover of one of Wildes books in a bookshop makes me smile.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals. If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.

Ellen Glasgow

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

Rachel Maddow

I'm a sarcastic person. I learn through humor.

John Green

The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company.

Cassandra Clare

She realized that this scarred, sarcastic boy, was gentle with the things he loved.

Krysten Ritter

I am sarcastic and dry, but I also have a pretty huge zest for life.

Paul Newman

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

Pamela Hansford Johnson

You slam a politician, you make out he's the devil, with horns and hoofs. But his wife loves him, and so did all his mistresses.

Julia Quinn

Nonetheless, I can't help but be flattered that you noticed the latest addition to my collection," he said. She rolled her eyes. "Because personal injuries are such a dignified thing to collect." "Are all governesses so sarcastic?

Molly Ivins

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Kim Harrison

Somehow I found him. Somehow I found Al's sarcastic thoughts, bitter and old. Tired, angry, bored. Alone.

Mark Twain

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

Mark Twain

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Mark Twain

In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.

Mark Twain

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

Mark Twain

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.