Famous Quotes & Sayings

Baruch Spinoza

He who seeks equality between unequals seeks an absurdity.

Oliver Goldsmith

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it, for error is always talkative

Kurt Braunohler

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place.

T. J. Miller

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Elfriede Jelinek

was made into an award-winning film, ''for her musical flow of voices and countervoices in novels and plays that with extraordinary linguistic zeal reveal the absurdity of society's cliches and their subjugating power.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Anthony Jeselnik

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Ann Landers

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.

Ann Landers

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Ann Landers

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.

Ann Landers

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Ann Landers

One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.

Andy Johnson

Some people think that because it's a threatened species, that every one we save is good. But not if they never get to live in the wild.

Andrew Niccol

Some people think 'Lord of War' is a political film,

Liam Hemsworth

Southern people remind me a lot of Australia.

Jim Anderson

So we're trying to let people know that we will automatically enroll them in Part D and there is no premium at all,

Mark Rylance

So there's a lot of people tied into believing that the traditional response to the authorship question. In terms of actors, some people get very angry about it.

Jesse Toprak

Now, for vehicles priced under $40,000, it is one of the first questions people ask.

Cesar Romero

Now I don't know half of the young people in the industry. It's too spread out, too diffuse.

Lois Lowry

Nowadays it seems as though people sit down to write what they know is going to be a trilogy.

Robin Cook

Tell the people of Serbia how much wealth you have sucked out during the same years they have been impoverished in Serbia,