Famous Quotes & Sayings

Maisie Williams

Sometimes people think they know you and they go, 'Hey!' and then they realize that they've just seen you on the television. That's kind of funny sometimes.

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Barbara Kingsolver

He had senile dementia and liked to go outside naked, but he could still do two things perfectly: win at checkers and write out prescriptions.

Augusten Burroughs

The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.

Aziz Ansari

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

Benjamin Disraeli

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

Kenneth Branagh

It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say.

Benjamin Disraeli

Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Barbara Kingsolver

So one time when I was working in this motel one of the toilets leaked and I had to replace the flapper ball. Here's what it said on the package; I kept it till I knew it by heart: 'Please Note. Parts are included for all installations, but no installation requires all of the parts.' That's kind of my philosophy about men. I don't think there's an installation out there that could use all my parts.

Baruch Spinoza

I do not presume that I have found the best philosophy, I know that I understand the true philosophy.

Augustine Birrell

History is a pageant and not a philosophy.

Ayelet Waldman

Those of us whose parenting style can be described as "a series of reflexes, instincts, and minute-by-minute adjustments," as Julie of A Little Pregnant puts it, rather than as a philosophy, are less invested in our own practices. What we do is often less a matter of conviction than one of convenience. What we need to remember is that there is no need to apologize for that, even in the face of the most red-faced outrage.

Ayn Rand

Devotion to the truth is the hallmark of morality; there is no greater, nobler, more heroic form of devotion than the act of a man who assumes the responsibility of thinking.

Bertrand Russell

The theoretical understanding of the world, which is the aim of philosophy, is not a matter of great practical importance to animals, or to savages, or even to most civilised men.

Bertrand Russell

When you are studying any matter or considering any philosophy, ask yourself only: what are the facts, and what is the truth that the facts bear out. Never let yourself be diverted by what you wish to believe, but look only and surely at what are the facts.

Brian Henson

And again, we're kind of trying to be in that place, that's just so absurd and irreverent and hysterical and it's something that at our company we're kind of, we're so irreverent about everything, we're sort of irreverent about the establishment, we're irreverent about civilization, we're irreverent about philosophy, we're irreverent about religion.

Brenda Song

I'd have to say I'm pretty adventurous. I just went to Shanghai for the Special Olympics and I tried dim sum. I'd never really had it before and some of it looked pretty scary, but I tried it anyway. My philosophy is, you're not going to know if you like it until you try it.

Daniel Woodrell

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

Art Buchwald

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

Elaine Stritch

The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know?

Kara Walker

Humor's always been the problem of my work, hasn't it? When working, I feel satisfied when I surprise myself. And when I surprise myself, I wind up laughing.

Arthur Conan Doyle

We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.

Bob Costas

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal.

Dennis Ritchie

The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card.

Edsger Dijkstra

PL/1, the fatal disease, belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.

Aristotle

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.