Famous Quotes & Sayings

David Pierce

Kelsey Grammer is wickedly funny. He's like an 8-year-old child. He's always doing pranks, and we have a great time.

Rob McKittrick

He is that guy in the movie. He is that funny guy who can get in your grill, and be funny about it. He's a lot more interesting in person than you usually see on the screen.

Trevor Noah

Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing.

Taylor Hawkins

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.

Shaquille O'Neal

Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural.

Maddie Ziegler

I think it's funny when people, they try to imitate the 'Chandelier' video. I think it's hilarious.

Ginnifer Goodwin

I think it's funny how there are a thousand shows out there, and a thousand movies, that are glorifying (extramarital) affairs, while this man is being completely honest with his wives.

John Pelphrey

I think the NCAA has a funny sense of humor with regards to pairing us up with Florida.

Mike Birbiglia

I think your tendency when you play yourself is to accentuate something about you that you think is the funny thing about you.

Umberto Eco

A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny.

Truman Capote

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.

Virginia Woolf

The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence.

Woody Allen

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Woody Allen

What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be a part of the experience? You know, what the hell? It's not all a drag, and I'm thinking to myself: Geez! I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after-who knows? Maybe there is something, nobody really knows. I know that maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have.

Woody Allen

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

Woody Allen

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

Woody Allen

I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

Woody Allen

I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead.

John Cornyn

I think you'll probably see not only his erudition, but his sense of humor.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Woody Allen

At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

Woody Allen

Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

William F. Buckley, Jr.

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Wayne Dyer

I am realistic – I expect miracles.

William Bernbach

Just because your ad looks good is no insurance that it will get looked at. How many people do you know who are impeccably groomed... but dull?

Samuel Foote

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. What! no soap? So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.