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funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny humorous life-sucks
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Aldous Huxley
funny life men
I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason. Doug E. Fresh
funny humor band
Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. Dylan Moran
funny jesus humor
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar. Doug Stanhope
funny humor opening-up
As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.
funny humor years
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.
funny humor people
I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.
winning keys celebrate
Learning to celebrate success is a key component of learning how to win in the market. Douglas Conant
winning whatever-it-takes ifs
Whatever I can do to win, I'll do it, even if I have to get hit by a pitch, whatever it takes. Dontrelle Willis
winning mad wish
I've turned over a new leaf. On TV, Kenny Wallace said I was a pessimist after Charlotte, so I got mad. Now I am so excited about coming back that I just can't stand it. I wish we were starting tomorrow and I'm going to win! That's the new me. Mark Martin
winning sometimes loses
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you get rained out. Satchel Paige
winning goal gold
I definitely want to win a gold medal, that should be everybody's goal. Laura Wilkinson
winning men isis
Jeb Bush gave a speech yesterday. He had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. So if history has taught us anything, Jeb is well on his way to winning the White House. Jimmy Fallon
winning matter win-or-lose
I can't say, 'It doesn't matter if you win or lose.' It's not true. You go in to win. Katarina Witt
winning long
As long as we keep winning, I'm happy. Josh Howard
winning race want
If you want to win anything - a race, yourself, your life - you have to go a little berserk. George A. Sheehan