Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Doug E. Fresh

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.

Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Doug Stanhope

As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.

Doug Stanhope

I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.

Doug Stanhope

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.

Doug Stanhope

All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs... and more holes, that's what you ladies need!

Dick Cavett

Great humorists are great insulters.

Robert A. Heinlein

To assess the intelligence of a committee, divide the IQ of its stupidest member by the number of members.

Vernon Jordan

A lot of companies make diversity a part of the performance goals against which an executive gets paid. Just as you have to make a certain sales number, you have to make a diversity number to get your bonus.

Henri Cartier-Bresson

Why do photographers start giving numbers to their prints? It’s absurd. What do you do when the 20th print has been done? Do you swallow the negative? Do you shoot yourself? It’s the gimmick of money.

Will Forte

It takes a certain type of person to register your 'Donkey Kong' score. So I'm just number 29 in registered Donkey Kong scores.

Nathan Myhrvold

Near Marseilles in the south of France, bouillabaisse is a cult food. In Toulouse and Carcassonne, the bean-based stew cassoulet is a cult food. Spain has paella and a number of others. Italy has so many, its cuisine is practically defined by them.

Bill Gates

I have to admit that business-type thoughts do sneak into my head: I hope our customers pay us, I hope this stuff is decent, I hope we get it done on time. The little additions and subtractions that one has to do. Take sales, take costs and try to get that big positive number at the bottom.