Famous Quotes & Sayings

Al Capone

Vote early and vote often.

Donald Barthelme

HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price.

Tom Stoppard

The days of the digital watch are numbered.

Tom Stoppard

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Tina Fey

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

Marilyn vos Savant

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.

Lisa Kudrow

I don't even know if it's possible, but if it were, I'd like to make those kinds of old movies where the women were articulate and intelligent and flawed and witty.

Oscar Wilde

If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times

Louis-Ferdinand Celine

The biggest defeat in every department of life is to forget, especially the things that have done you in, and to die without realizing how far people can go in the way of crumminess. When the grave lies open before us, let’s not try to be witty, but on the other hand, let’s not forget, but make it our business to record the worst of the human viciousness we’ve seen without changing one word. When that’s done, we can curl up our toes and sink into the pit. That’s work enough for a lifetime.

Chuck Norris

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

Thomas Reed

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Suzanne Collins

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

George Mikes

If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

Jeff Gordon

I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.

Samuel Goldwyn

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

Ken Thompson

The steady state of disks is full.

Mark Twain

But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!

Mark Twain

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

Roy Johnson

That's him. They took him to the jail today.

Brian Urlacher

How great a life is this? To get to knock guys' heads off for 60 minutes and not get thrown in jail?

Tom Waits

I did my time in the jail of your arms

Steven Biko

I'm going to be me as I am, and you can beat me or jail me or even kill me, but I'm not going to be what you want me to be.

Tommy Chong

When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian.

Patricia McConnell

I'm actually a lowlife. On the street at fifteen and also in jail for the first time at that age, and off and on the street until my mid-twenties.

Idris Elba

If I was gonna go to jail, I don't want to go to jail for stealing a bottle of water. I'll steal that $20 million. At least then it was worth it.

Robert Novak

they're not going to jail because of me.

Charles Manson

I'm in jail because people wanna keep me in jail. It ain't got nothing to do with the law.