Famous Quotes & Sayings

Maisie Williams

Sometimes people think they know you and they go, 'Hey!' and then they realize that they've just seen you on the television. That's kind of funny sometimes.

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Barbara Kingsolver

He had senile dementia and liked to go outside naked, but he could still do two things perfectly: win at checkers and write out prescriptions.

Augusten Burroughs

The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.

Aziz Ansari

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

Ayn Rand

There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist.

Benjamin Disraeli

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

Kenneth Branagh

It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say.

Benjamin Disraeli

Everyone likes flattery; and when you come to Royalty you should lay it on with a trowel.

Daniel Woodrell

Texas humor and Southern humor are pretty similar.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.

Arthur Conan Doyle

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

Art Buchwald

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

Elaine Stritch

The people in New York - their humor is on a level that goes, uh, very deep, you know?

Kara Walker

Humor's always been the problem of my work, hasn't it? When working, I feel satisfied when I surprise myself. And when I surprise myself, I wind up laughing.

Arthur Conan Doyle

We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.

Bob Costas

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal.

Dennis Ritchie

The notion of a record is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column card.

Diana Wynne Jones

Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs!

Clarence Day

The egg it is the source of all. Tis everyone's ancestral hall. The bravest chief that ever fought, The lowest thief that e'er was caught, The harlot's lip, the maiden's leg, They each and all came from an egg.

Anne Sexton

I try to take care and be gentle to them. Words and eggs must be handled with care. Once broken they are impossible things to repair.

Robert Benchley

I can remember the day when all that a professor was supposed to do was to mark "C minus" on students' examination papers, then gohome to tea. Nowadays they seem to feel that they must know just how much we (outside the university) eat, what we do with our spare time, and how we like our eggs.

Tom Waits

I've never been a fan of personality-conflict burgers and identity-crisis omelets with patchouli oil. I function very well on a diet that consists of Chicken Catastrophe and Eggs Overwhelming and a tall, cool Janitor-in-a-Drum. I like to walk out of a restaurant with enough gas to open a Mobil station.

Tim Conway

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Thomas Jefferson

I have wished to see chemistry applied to domestic objects, to malting, for instance, brewing, making cider, to fermentation and distillation generally, to the making of bread, butter, cheese, soap, to the incubation of eggs, &c.

Victor Davis Hanson

Stalin and Mao killed over 80 million and did not make omelets despite the broken eggs.

Victor Hugo

Every bird which flies has the thread of the infinite in its claw. Germination includes the hatching of a meteor and the tap of a swallow's bill breaking the egg, and it leads forward the birth of an earth-worm and the advent of Socrates.