Famous Quotes & Sayings

Baruch Spinoza

He who seeks equality between unequals seeks an absurdity.

Oliver Goldsmith

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it, for error is always talkative

Kurt Braunohler

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place.

T. J. Miller

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Elfriede Jelinek

was made into an award-winning film, ''for her musical flow of voices and countervoices in novels and plays that with extraordinary linguistic zeal reveal the absurdity of society's cliches and their subjugating power.

Bobby Valentine

Rule No. 1 is you don't make the third out at third base with Mike Piazza coming up.

Bobby Fischer

When I won the world championship, in 1972, the United States had an image of, you know, a football country, a baseball country, but nobody thought of it as an intellectual country.

Charles Foster

What good decision-makers do is really surprising. There is all that stuff, but they think about the one thing that is most important, and that's what they base their decision on.

Mike Fox

What a story Henry is - going from third base to their starting rotation. He's just been unbelievable. He just doesn't walk people.

Albert Pujols

I learned to play (baseball) on the streets in the Dominican Republic when I was 8 yrs old.

Albert Pujols

I try to spend as much time as possible with God and my family. That's more important than anything I'm doing in baseball.

Douglas MacArthur

Few names have left a firmer imprint upon the pages of the history of American times than has that of Ty Cobb... he seems to have understood that in the competition of baseball, just as in war, defensive strategy never has produced ultimate victory.

Don Baylor

Don Baylor, New York Yankees DH, on Billy Martin and his predecessor Yogi Berra: Playing for Yogi is like playing for your father; playing for Billy is like playing for your father-in-law.

Don Drysdale

Where do you want it?

Jay Gibbons

First I've got to figure out what team I'm on,

Tony Bethel

We were just out of sync. We couldn't figure out how to get back in sync.

Clarke Peters

Some film actors want to sit back and look at every scene and all that crap. No, you're an actor - tell the story, and when it's told, there's another one to tell.

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?

Michael Finley

He looks good. He looks the same to me.

Richard P. Feynman

Nature isn't classical, dammit, and if you want to make a simulation of nature, you'd better make it quantum mechanical, and by golly it's a wonderful problem, because it doesn't look so easy.

Richelle Mead

And you work for that demon, right? The one who looks like Matthew Broderick?” “John Cusack,” I corrected. “He looks like John Cusack.” “Whatever.

Truman Capote

I've been working, working, working, and you know, sometimes you look back at your work and you see that it just isn't any good.

Rick Riordan

For once, I didn't look back.

William Safire

Never look for the story in the 'lede.' Reporters are required to put what's happened up top, but the practiced pundit places a nugget of news, even a startling insight, halfway down the column, directed at the politiscenti. When pressed for time, the savvy reader starts there.

William Shatner

When I direct and have to look at filmed scenes of myself, I suck.