Related Quotes
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
funny humor snow
Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word. Alberto Manguel
funny humorous life-sucks
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Aldous Huxley
funny life men
I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason. Doug E. Fresh
funny humor band
Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. Dylan Moran
funny humor opening-up
As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces. Doug Stanhope
funny humor trying
I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.
funny humor alcohol
They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.
funny cancer humor
All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs... and more holes, that's what you ladies need!
witty memories kids
A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Dave Barry
children education ensure enter gradually great high indiana integrated prepared quality schools shame state system
Pre-K is gradually being integrated into the K-12 education system nationwide. In a state that has so many great universities like Purdue, Indiana and Notre Dame, it's a shame (Indiana) won't do more to ensure its own children are better prepared to enter those schools with high quality pre-K. Libby Doggett
children created happy parents
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
children cold growing hiding imminent nuclear primary recognized school seemingly taught threat war
Growing up during the Cold War, I remember the seemingly imminent threat of nuclear war. In primary school we were taught to 'duck-and-cover' for protection. But even as children hiding under wooden desks, we recognized the inadequacies of this strategy. Mike Quigley
children life
All my children inspire me in life, and that always comes out in the writing. Paul Weller
children fathers honor love
Fathers and Mothers! Honor your children and love them. Otto Rank
children enter except kingdom shall
Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
children deal great immune vaccine virus
There's a great deal more virus in the shingles vaccine that in the children's vaccine, and that's because children are not immune at all.
children comfort foundation help military project proud provide support work
The Trevor Romain Foundation is a project that I am most proud to be a part of. They work with the USO and help provide support and comfort to military children and their families. Ryan Lee
children easy gone rider
We had this kind of camaraderie - you know, children of the Sixties! But he's gone Republican. Easy Rider is a Republican!