Famous Quotes & Sayings

Milton Berle

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

Milton Berle

I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.

Milton Berle

My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

Milton Berle

My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.

Milton Berle

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

Milton Berle

Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.

Milton Berle

Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.

Milton Berle

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

Milton Berle

My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.

Milton Berle

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

Milton Berle

My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."

Milton Berle

At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.

Milton Berle

The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand.

Milton Berle

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.

Milton Berle

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

Milton Berle

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

Milton Berle

They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.

Milton Berle

This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"

Milton Berle

It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.

Milton Berle

I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.

Milton Berle

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

Mike Shinoda

My parents still treat Christmas like I'm thirteen years old.

Nancy Kerrigan

I was thrilled one year when I was younger when not only did my brothers get hockey sticks for Christmas - but I did too!

Nancy Pearcey

During the first 13 centuries after the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, no one thought of setting up a creche to celebrate Christmas. The pre-eminent Christian holiday was Easter, not Christmas.

Ken Ham

If we discount the account of creation, we remove the significance of Christmas.

Ken Ham

It's essential that we learn how to defend the Bible and the Christian faith for our sake and our children's. If we don't, the empty and obsolete churches in England will foreshadow the future in America.

Keith Thibodeaux

In fact, I was one of the few trusted people that Lucy allowed to play with their kids. I spent time at their summer home, rode horses at their ranch, and swam at their beach house. I even spent a Christmas with them at Palm Springs one year.

Mary Roberts Rinehart

Curious, how one remembered Christmas. Perhaps because other days might appeal to the head, but this one appealed to the heart.

Martin Freeman

I've always loved Christmas and that's not really gone away from me from being a child to now. It's always a magical time and I'm unashamed in my love for Christmas.

Nick Hornby

It struck him that how you spent Christmas was a message to the world about where you were in life, some indication of how deep a hole you had managed to burrow for yourself

Nick Hornby

Hey, great idea: if you have kids, give your partner reading vouchers next Christmas. Each voucher entitles the bearer to two hours' reading time *while the kids are awake*. It might look like a cheapskate present, but parents will appreciate that it costs more in real terms than a Lamborghini.

Mary Martin

We should try to hold on to the Christmas spirit, not just one day a year, but all 365.

Nawal El Saadawi

I've lived in Egypt among Christians and Muslims, and we never had a conflict. Now you have a conflict between Christians and Muslims and Baha'is and Sunni and Shia.