Famous Quotes & Sayings

Daniel Tosh

Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…

Daniel Tosh

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.

Daniel Tosh

How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.

Daniel Tosh

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

Daniel Tosh

Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

Dane Cook

You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.

Dane Cook

When I have a really hot date at a show, I definitely make it a point to use her name. The girls really love that.

Dane Cook

Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.

Dane Cook

You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause no one wants to be covered in spaghetti. No. If I'm on a date with a girl and she's very rude, I'd be like, You know what? Pppptthhh! Enjoy your spaghetti, you're very rude. Enjoy your spaghetti, cause you're rude. Pppptthhh!

Dane Cook

If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.

Dane Cook

Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.

Dane Cook

Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.

Dane Cook

There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.

Dane Cook

I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.

Dane Cook

My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

Dane Cook

Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.

Daley Thompson

Being a decathlete is like having ten girlfriends. You have to love them all, and you can't afford losing one.

Curtis Sittenfeld

It's never that hard for me to imagine what it must feel like to be someone else, whether it's an American teenage girl or a Japanese octogenarian man

Curtis Sittenfeld

When you are a high school girl, there is nothing more miraculous than a high school boy.

Cyndi Lauper

When the working day is done, girls they just want to have fun.

Cyndi Lauper

Men and women are different. I don't think men grow a brain until 26 or even 30. Girls mature a lot quicker.

Craig Brewer

That movie was my girlfriend. That was my girl." I knew there was going to be initial anger. As a matter of fact, when I was deciding to do Footloose that was one of the first things that I had to realize. First of all, I had to figure out a human connection to it but then I also had to reconcile that I was going to get beat up a little bit on this a little bit.

Craig Brewer

I was chubby and awkward, and the only way I could really meet girls was to join children's theater, so that's what I did.

Courtney Thorne-Smith

I thought, I hate the thought of a 12, 13 or 14 year-old girl seeing a picture of me and thinking she'll do what I did.

David Byrne

It's not music you would use to get a girl into bed. If anything, you're going to frighten her off.

David Lee Roth

Music videos are like girlfriends. I'm constantly amazed on what other people doing

David Levithan

You think fairy tales are only for girls? Here's a hint - ask yourself who wrote them. I assure you, it wasn't just the women. It's the great male fantasy - all it takes is one dance to know that she's the one. All it takes is the sound of her song from the tower, or a look at her sleeping face. And right away you know - this is the girl in your head, sleeping or dancing or singing in front of you. Yes, girls want their princes, but boys want their princesses just as much. And they don't want a very long courtships. They want to know immediately.

David Berkowitz

The demons wanted girls. Sugar and Spice and everything nice.

David Wong

Antidepressants. The thought of this girl actually being depressed made me want to grab the whole planet and throw it into the sun. Well, more than usual anyway.

Danica Patrick

I was very against pink and purple when I was young, because they were girls' colors. But that was only because I didn't want people to write me off for what I can do. When I got into my 20s, I decided that was stupid.

We're hoping to get at least 10 girls or more qualify for regions. It could be a little more or little less, but I feel good we can get those kids and some of our relay teams to the regions.

We seem to have the most depth. But girls golf is a sport where you can see a lot of unexpected improvement and a lot of improvement in scores in August.

We are so young, I am just trying to get these girls used to playing big games.